I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize