I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
