I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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