im drinking this country out of the recession.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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