We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I see more hoeing in ur future
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