I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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