I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
