i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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