Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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