I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
