You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
