I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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