oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
