I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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