Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
