Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
