you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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