IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
