i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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