I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
