they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
