am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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