I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
