dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
fuck your aforementioned shoe
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
