I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
