Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
this is an emotional support booty call
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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