Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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