Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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