Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
