Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
