there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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