You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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