The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
True but thats because hes a fetus.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize
