bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
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