Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
