I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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