Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
