you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
