We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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