So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I currently don't understand fingers.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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