No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You need Xanax blowdarts
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
