i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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