It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
now i know why i became what i already was.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
