when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
