i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
