Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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