i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
