I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
