is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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