My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The chlamydia really affected his face.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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