Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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