I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
