I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
